Sunglasses are an Emotional Barrier.


I am amazed how many men investing their time and emotional energy on a dating site have a lead profile picture of them wearing sunglasses.

Gents, please know that wearing a visual barrier between you and the person you are trying to connect with is counter productive.   This literally creates an emotional barrier.


My job is to help people connect their visual image with their goals.

If you are an adult male on a dating site, I can only conclude that you have the goal of attracting an attractive, high quality woman to create a relationship with.  Now OF COURSE you want to come across as cool, and young, and hip, and masculine – I get that, and there are so many far more effective ways to achieve this.

Lets address “cool” for a minute.  A great pair of RayBans or Maui Jims are cool.  Mirrored wrap around sunglasses (see lower right hand image in the picture) are AWFUL.  They are so NOT cool it is painful.  And if you don’t believe me:  “Whilst wrap-around sunglasses should only be worn for sporting reasons – think cycling or shooting – some people insist on wearing them casually. This is wrong, and screams of a lack of sophistication and taste. There is nothing cool about wrap-arounds; they may have been when you were eight years old, but now no. Just no.” from Gentleman’s Gazette. 

Many men love the outdoors.  I understand that your favorite activities are likely taken in an outdoor setting wearing sunglasses.  Please know I am not banning them from your pictures, just the MAIN picture.  We (ladies) need to see your eyes, and we want to know you want to be seen.  Period.

Remember, my job is to help you connect your visual appearance to your goals.

So continue wearing sunglasses as your main profile picture if your goal is to:

  1.  Create emotional distance
  2.  Emulating Rappers.  Fun fact: from the Urban Dictionary; wearing “sunglasses at night” (ie unnecessarily) refers to not wanting to see what is right in front of you
  3. Look mysterious and unavailable
  4. Give the message you are better than another person

By the way, these rules are exactly the same for women, it’s just there are SO FEWER women who make this mistake then men.    Not picking on you my friends. 🙂

If you would like HELP getting or choosing a picture for your dating profile, I would be delighted.   If you’ve read all the way down to here, and you have a dating profile set up, send me a screen shot and I will give you a professional opinion for FREE.   How about that?

Ann Lindsay is Suited for Love and Style of Success

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